


Typo

by Waldo



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: Audio Drama: Lost Souls, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-12
Updated: 2008-10-12
Packaged: 2017-10-05 00:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldo/pseuds/Waldo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know, I would have thought they'd have had a pill or something in the fifty-first century that would cure dyslexia."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Typo

**Author's Note:**

> Written because I _am_ dyslexic and I can't type that word correctly to save my soul.  And because I believe that Jack *does* his paperwork, and while he makes an effort to be accurate, he really doesn't give a damn about nitpicky things like spelling and grammar.

Ianto was muttering to himself as he stabbed at the keyboard. "Someone needs to explain to me why with everything the report-generating software we use can do, why it does _not_ have a 'search and replace' function."

"Hey, Ianto I was looking for –" Jack cut himself off as Ianto turned around and leveled him with an icy glare. Jack sighed. "What did I do now?" He honestly couldn't remember anything he'd done in the past week that would have earned him such a lethal expression.

Ianto crossed his arms over his chest. "You know, I would have thought they'd have had a pill or something in the fifty-first century that would cure dyslexia."

Jack just cocked an eyebrow, not at all sure what Ianto was on about.

Ianto turned back to the screen and began stabbing at the keyboard again. "Or at the very least they would teach children to proofread in school."

Jack knew he was guilty of avoiding doing paperwork at all costs; however, once he sat down to do it he was fairly thorough and accurate. Before he could ask what the problem was in detail, Ianto swung back around to face him.

"Whitehall called," Ianto said in a clipped, even voice. "They'd like your report on the events at the CERN laboratory."

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. "I did that report the day we got back. It's filed and cross-referenced and everything." Ianto wasn't going to tell him he didn't do it when, for once, he'd actually done it and done it on time.

"Yes, Jack, you did. And it's a bloody good thing I opened it and checked to make sure it was complete before sending it along." Ianto rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"So what's the problem?"

Ianto sighed. "Through out the entire report you refer to the – and I quote – 'Large Hard-on Collider.'

Jack bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud. "Did I?" he asked with a faux meekness that he knew would probably just infuriate Ianto even more.

Ianto rolled his eyes, declined to comment, and turned back to manually switching the 'r' and the 'd' every two or three sentences in the eight-page report. He'd gotten two more reversals corrected (and added the missing apostrophe in an 'it's') before he felt Jack's hands on his shoulders, kneading in strong strokes through his jacket and shirt. He mentally cursed at Jack for knowing exactly how to defuse his anger. He could never stay mad at a man who could work out the knots as deftly as Jack could.

Another 'r-d' correction and a comma removed from where it wasn't needed and Ianto felt Jack lean over his shoulder and whisper in his ear.

"I suspect it's less of a processing disorder and more of a Freudian thing."

Ianto let out a long-suffering sigh.

"How about you finish that and meet me in my office. I'll make it up to you."

Ianto's fingers stilled on the keys. "You think sex fixes everything, don't you?"

Jack pulled back and put on a wounded face to replace his 'busted' face before Ianto could turn around. "What sex? I was thinking of taking you to that Thai place you like so much for dinner." Never let it be said that Jack Harkness couldn't think on his feet.

Ianto had the grace to look sheepish for about six seconds until he realized he was very probably being played. He raised his eyebrows and stared Jack down.

Jack relented to being busted and quietly added, "And then I was thinking we could have sex until you can't remember how to spell your own name, let alone the name of that damn collider thing."

Ianto turned back to the keyboard again. "If you were anyone else, I'd have you up on charges."

Jack knew a capitulation when he heard one. "If I were anyone else, you'd have flattened me by now," he said cheerily.

"There is that."

"But as I am the one person who gets to sexually harass you, why don't you get that sent off so I can make good on _both_ promises?" Jack leaned back in and kissed Ianto's temple.

Ianto pursed his lips and shot Jack a look that said his tolerance was strained, but not breaking. Yet. And if Jack knew what was good for him, he wouldn't push it any more.

Jack put his hands up and went back into his office, letting Ianto finish. He'd just sat down behind his desk when he heard Ianto slam a hand into the desk and yell, "Now come on Jack! This one was obvious. I was _glowing_. Not blowing!"

Jack winced. There would need to be desert now. But in the privacy of his own office he muttered, "Maybe I was just a little ahead of myself." Feeling puckish, he yelled out, "Can we just chalk that one up to wishful thinking on my part?"

He was reasonably sure the next thing he heard was Ianto's head impacting with the desk.


End file.
